Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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