those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
