Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
