areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Alive.
So much puke
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
