:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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