After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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