And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
