you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
