You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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