oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
