oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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