Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
