this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
