Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
