It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
