Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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