Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
