susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i need some magic done to my vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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