remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
