you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
