But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
