so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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