So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
