I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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