i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize