i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
