this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Randomize
