take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
