you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
