Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
