at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
