I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
