she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
