If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
