Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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