The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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