Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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