i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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