Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
