Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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