We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
