I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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