I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
