PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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