The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
