i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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