I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
