Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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