the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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