if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
