I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
