I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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