I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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