I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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