My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
