all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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