Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
