Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
